I have a dentist appointment tomorrow and I am less than happy about it. I hate the dentist. Even though I've had the same dentist since I was 5 and if I see him at the grocery I'll give him a bear hug, when I see him in the office I hate him. Sure, I appreciate him attempting to make a tooth-pulling sound fun when I was 5: You see this device here? We'll call it a motorcycle! Doesn't it sound like a motor cycle? And this disgusting molding paste that I'm about to put in your mouth that will undoubtedly force you into a minute of meditation dedicated only to thinking happy thoughts so as not to gag--well we'll pretend it tastes like grapes. And this big ass shot I'm about to put in your 5 year old mouth? Well it wont hurt at all, it feels like a little tickle. Yeah right, I hate him. I told my mom I wasn't going and she said she heard they have some medication you can take now that will relax you. Yeah right, I hate the dentist.

I mean, seriously, does anyone ever have a good experience at the dentist? I was sure that if there ever was someone out there who loves going to the dentist, then they are also those people who loved doing Science Fair Projects and those freaks who don't sleep past 8 a.m. because they feel lazy if they're not up doing something productive, even if they don't have class until noon. My theory was blown when my friend will said the most disturbing thing I've ever heard a friend of mine say. He said he likes going to the dentist. I almost threw up. He said he loves how clean his teeth feel afterward. Okay, sure your teeth feel clean afterward, but that's hardly retribution for: 1. sitting in an office and reading HighLights magazines and watching fish swim around in a tank for 30 minutes, 2. getting pricked, flossed and prodded at for another 30 minutes, and 3. hearing that you owe hundreds of dollars for enduring all of this. They should pay us. I hate the dentist.

p.s. be wary of will. he's not who you think he is.