Something as simple as ....

Telling the class my name and where I'm from can turn my face red.

I can count on losing a full nights sleep the night before any oral presentation. I will always choose the last day to present, when the option is given. If it's my day to go, you can bet I will be the last person to volunteer. Actually, I wont ever volunteer, I have to be called on and if the teacher forgets then I breathe a sigh of relief. There have been many occasions where I have sat up and calculated what my final grade in a class would be if I were to skip a presentation and lose the points. In some cases, it might bump me down a letter grade and I still consider forfeiting the project.

It was funny, last year was the first year I really had a class with a best friend who knew me really well. Whitney and I had research together and it was all fun and games until one day I got the nerve to speak up in class. Whitney, being a bad student, was hard at work on her Red and Black crossword and paying no attention to the class. I started to respond to a question the teacher asked and in typical Megan fashion (I love this phrase b.t.w) my voice started cracking, my body got hot, blood rushed to my face and I was seriously regretting making such a courageous move. Whitney looks up from her crossword, and while I'm in the middle of hosting a battle between the me who is asking myself why the hell I decided to speak up and the me who is saying I did the right thing, whitney decides to say " what are you talking about?" Of course this added to the embarrassment and I just decided to put my head down on my desk. No graceful exits for me. I always exit the situation as dramatically as I came. Everytime I make an ass of myself in class I make it worse by doing something outrageous like announcing to the class "oh my gosh, i'm so embarrassed...NEVERMIND" or doing something like laying my head down.

It took whitney about 5 minutes to regain her composure. For the first minute she was confused with what just happened. After I explained that I get really embarrassed talking in class and she just made it worse, she spent the last four minutes laughing. We talked after class and she told me I was the last person she expected to be so shy. I have always been shy in class, so it was nothing new to me. But, I got to thinking about it and I guess it is kind of shocking given the other aspects of my personality: assertive, talkative, and usually confident. However, when it comes to public speaking I display none of the aforementioned qualities. The worst part about the day in research is that I had the right answer. I looked it up in my notes as soon as I left class. I was right, a longitudinal study is one that is done over the passage of time...usually at least 5 years.

Whitney and I still spend all day Monday, Wednesday and Friday together in class. I guess since I have always preferred to be friends with people who I can laugh with, I can't get upset when everytime I'm called on, she starts to laugh before I can even begin to answer. This is going to be a problem being a week from tomorrow. I have the first of 7 different presentations due. Whitney will be present for 3 of them. I'm scared and I need serious advice.

p.s. the audience in their underwear doesn't do anything for me.