SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU (especially when you use pick-up lines)

I was just sitting in my room, replaying highlights from our trip to NYC and, while reliving one particular memory, I realized I need to dedicate some space on my blog to helping inform guys on how not to act.

Ashlee, Hollie and I decide to check out the little dance club near our hotel. The ratio of guys to girls was probably 10 to 1, so as one guy put it, the guys around us were "like a pool of sharks." They each took their turns at an attempt to grab our attention for longer than a few seconds. Some of them were really good looking, but looks pale in comparison to smoothness. And it was smoothness that most of them lacked.

I think the first shark to approach me tried to work me by showing off his dancing skills. Although he got an A for originality, he failed miserably in winning my affection. The second guy that came up to me tried to win me over with played-out phrases and tired moves. I believe his opening line was something like, "I'm glad you woke up from my dreams. You're beautiful...I might be in love with you." I have a few problems with this: the first lies within the fact that he thought that line might actually work, which therefore means that he thought I was the kind of girl stupid enough to enjoy hearing it. My second problem is that not only did he use a pick-up line, he used a pick-up line that made no sense. He's glad I woke up from his dream? I wasn't the one asleep and dreaming. I think he would have been better off to stick with the "are you tired, because you've been running through my mind all day" line. He still wouldn't have passed, but at least it would have been an honest failure. The last problem is something I don't hold against him alone, but the male population in general. I am not going to try and speak for the entire female race, but I will speak for me and most of the girls I know when I say, it is not flattering to have a guy approach you in a dark bar and tell you that you're beautiful and he's in love with you. You're not in love, you're drunk. And I'm no more beautiful than anyone else here, I just happened to be the one who stumbled upon accidental eye contact with you. Needless to say, I was done with this guy before he got another sentence out. But, the one thing he had going for him was that he let me go without a fight. He either knew his pick-up line was a disaster, or more than likely he knew he needed to find a bigger idiot to use it on. The only guy in the group that had any appeal was the one friend of theirs standing back watching it all. He was the funniest of them all, the least desperate of them all, and, oddly enough, the least attractive of them all. He's also the only one in the bunch that got a kiss. And, no, it was not from me.

So, I was sitting in my room thinking about Tuesday night and the guys that were and I thought about those poor guys out there that have no idea how to pick up a girl. Of course I guess the first bit of advice would be to look for her anywhere other than a bar. But, the truth is that from about 18 to mid 20's, bars are where you meet a lot of the people you know. So, for all of the bar flies just looking to meet a nice girl, whether it be to really get to know her or just hoping to snag a kiss at the end of the night, here's what not to do:

1. I hope I covered this enough already, but don't use pick up lines...if you're being remotely serious. I didn't touch on using them when you're being funny. Mainly because all guys think they're funny and there is a fine, fine line. If you're sure that you're a funny person (this means that people other than you laugh at your jokes), then actually a pick-up line could be your ticket. Provided that the girl knows you're joking and that she has a sense of humor. Use your own discretion with this one.

2. Dont just walk up to a girl and start showering her with compliments. Aside from being unbelievably lame, this is insulting. She knows you feed every other girl who looks in your direction the same lines, and she probably almost feels bad about herself that you lumped her into the category of girls who are flattered by your tactics. Wait until she's engaged in the conversation to give her a compliment. But, it can't be too cheesy. Bad example: Whitney meets a boy in the bar who is funny, smart and cute. She's obviously into him, so he decides it's appropriate to kiss her. Well, it was appropriate until he talked for ten minutes about how soft her lips are. All he had to say (if anything at all) was something like you're a good kisser, period, the end.

3. Don't offer to buy her a drink within a few minutes of meeting her. Again, you're screaming desperate. Once I met this guy who came up to me, gave me the "you're so cute" line (which, actually, is much much better than beautiful...it doesn't share the sleaze factor). I was nice to him, but before I could even get out my last name he was asking me what I wanted to drink. Honestly, the first thing that crossed my mind was "how much money has this guy spent tonight buying girls drinks" It turns out that my instincts were right about this guy, as he was the same guy that had been calling and texting my roommate all night begging for a lunch or dinner date. Wait a while, make sure she's interested and that if she does get a drink she'll be drinking it next to you.

4. If you feel like the situation is inviting then go ahead and approach her. Hello works just fine. But, don't leech onto her once she starts enjoying you. this is actually the best time to say "well hey, I'm going to go over here for a little while, but I'll hopefully run into you again" You'll be amazed at how much her interest in you just multiplied.

5. I don't care how accepting this has recently become, and I may just be speaking for myself and this may change once I graduate, but do not hand me a business card. I think this is ridiculous. I realize it contains all of your vitals, but why do I need your number? Get mine and save the card for your customers.

Okay, that's all for now. I have a lot more and I will be adding on....I do realize we are an incredibly picky species. Don't hate on me for pointing out the obvious, just take my advice and enjoy.