a little something to ease your mind...

For those of you that I know have been losing sleep at night wondering how my trip to the dentist went, well here you go:


I have always been quoted as saying a reason i hate the dentist is because they make you feel bad about yourself. That's all they do. Especially mine. He hangs his head low, starts shaking it then slowly looks up to tell you the bad news: you dont floss as much as you should. I think when he decided to go to dental school he missed out on his true calling: drama school. Anyway, I walked into the room, sat down, put on my bib then told the woman, "look...I'm really nervous. Like, really nervous. I dont like the dentist. It started when i was 5 and I had to get a tooth pulled, and really it's been awful ever since. It's been a long time since I've come and I am especially worried about how painful this is going to be, but I'm sure I deserve it." Well, Janet told me not to worry, she would be gentle. Then, as if she was reading my mind she said, " I always tell people that I'm not here to judge them. It's like people think if they dont come in a while that they deserve to feel pain, well they don't." Ah, my new best friend.

It took an hour and 1/2 for Janet to clean my teeth (stop judging--you know they always tell you to floss more too). She actually stopped to inform me that, "this is the point where we usually ask the patient to come back the next day because the visit has gone longer than expected, but you're lucky I like you."

I thought I hadn't been to the dentist in a couple of years. Wrong. Records show that my last trip to the dentist was 3 1/2 years ago....oh and speaking of 3...

I have 3 cavities.