drunk alter egos...

I've been wanting to put this into writing for a while now. I am fascinated by who people become once they've had a few drinks in them. Here are some of the personalities displayed by my drunk obnoxious friends...

Jared: When sober he's always funny, a little sassy, and slightly touchy-feely. As a drunk he's 100 percent sass. When playing drinking games he often gets screwed and he always has a remark when someone tells him to drink. It's usually f you. He also turns into an uncomfortable groper. Ladies stay away from him on the dance floor, undoubtedly he will molest you, touching you in places that would make Britney Spears blush.

Ben: The only way you can tell that Ben is drunk is because he starts telling you his life story...which you already heard last night. Other than that he seems sober. I love those kind. they're tricky.

Emily: Laughs uncontrollably when drunk. I have seen her cry from laughing more times than I can count. Who says alcohol is a depressant? She also dances, stripper-like. She was blessed with 8 ft. long legs so I guess it just comes natural. Emily is also known to tell people how much they mean to her. 'I love you more than life itself' is a phrase I've heard from her several times, but never before 5 or 6 drinks.

Paul Welch: Three words: perpetual pelvic thrusting.

Whitney: Now Whitney is 2 kinds of drunk. First stage: With a good buzz, Whitney smiles non-stop. She loves everyone and everything is funny. We love Whitney in this stage. Second stage: A drunk Whitney equals a straight up hateful Whitney. Hate everywhere. She's ready to leave wherever we are, may it be a bar, party or even a car that's not driving fast enough. Her eyes are shut by now, but she still manages to see....this never fails to baffle me. She usually picks one person to be mad at and will recite " I'm so pissed at ___. I can't remember why though" repeatedly. It's usually Mot. The best was last year one night Jared and Emily were late nighting with her at her apartment. Apparently she decides to think outloud and says " If everyone would leave I could go to bed."

Bizzy: Bizzy doesn't drink without getting blackout and it's hard to catch her in her buzzed state. She makes the transition from sober to wasted faster than you can blink. Once there, she doesn't talk much. She smokes, calls people, and tries to persuade her company to go to Bourbon Street.

Mot: What she does drunk she also does sober. Mot is the trickiest of all. Unless she's blackout, there is no sure way to tell how many drinks she has consumed, if any at all.



there will be frequent updates.