facebook do's and don'ts updated 7.14.05

Sometimes I wonder what i did before the facebook was in my life. I mean I was still on the computer all the time, but I dont remember what i was doing. Probably reading Dawson's Creek "lines to remember" or trying to find the music from Felicity episodes. I know i sound like a huge loser, and I guess I sort of am, but since I've been home I've been facebooking like crazy. The first thing i do is see if i have any friend invites, group invitations or even better a possible party invitation, a new low for even the facebook--asking people to rsvp to your keg via the internet (i've sadly organized 2 of these cyber parties). anyway, then i get to looking at my wall, and then i read other people's walls who are usually funny, then of course i like to add inside jokes on people's walls so other people can read them and wonder what i'm talking about. Really, that's the point of the facebook wall, isn't it? If you really wanted, you could just send that person a private message saying killer party this weekend, that was so funny when you took your shirt off and danced on the table...but instead we, me included, like to write it on the ever so public "wall."


I was once explaining the concept of the facebook to ashlee's boyfriend, Chad, and all he could say was, "the facebook is the dumbest thing i've ever heard of. You get on, you ask people to be your friend, you can read about them, and that's it. You can't even talk to people on it." I told him you can write on walls and he said oh okay you graffiti ass. I thought he was really funny for saying that, and i guess he thought i was really funny for seeing that as a facebook perk.


What's even funnier is that some of my friends and I see the wall as a sort of indication of what kind of person the wall bearer is. For example, mot and i have sat around countless times and taken a moment of silence for those people who don't have anything written on their wall. Last week we got so sad for this one guy...he had like 2 postings and he'd been a member for 6 months. We responded with a simultaneous, "awww...."


Then there are those people who erase their wall, like Chris Long used to do until i told him it's the opposite of cool. Still, some people insist on erasing it...and even though i told chris it wasn't cool (which was only b/c i was one of the ones whose posting got erased), I actually think this type of facebooker is the epitome of cool. He doesn't need 50 entries on his wall to feel popular, he'd actually rather keep his inside jokes between him and his friends. I admire him, really.

Then there are the boyfriend/girlfriend walls. My friends and I decided these are the worst. There is really only one rule to follow when decorating your lover's wall: Don't write anything on your boyfriend or girlfriend's wall unless it's funny (really, you shouldn't write anything on anyone's wall unless it's funny...or Happy Birthday, those are sweet). Like Amber and Josh, they write cute funny things. That's great, love em...learn from em. Never, under any circumstances, should you write anything like lover, our love is the kind of love that people everywhere would love to have. i love you. love, the love of your life. No, none of this please. I mean , next week we could find your relationship status reading: single, looking for random play. It's cool that you're in love, and the hopeless romantic in me actually finds it cute when your profile says "in a relationship with ...." But that's about as far as the facebook coupling needs to go. I think having a picture up of the two of you is even a little dramatic...but i'll let it slide by telling myself it's just to keep the Brian Ellis' (i know half of the girls on facebook have been stalked by this kid), random pokes and strange friend invites to a minimum. Just, please, keep the sappy stuff between you two.

Some more facebook do's and dont's (that we've probably all broken, but should try not to):
Don't put a picture up that looks nothing like you (you can only get so far with this...)
Don't join those "25 hottest girls/guys at UGA" groups (even if you're invited...which I know is so tempting, but noone knows if you got invited or not and most people are going to assume you joined by choice)
Don't write a message on someone's wall to the person who wrote the message above you (for example: Whitney's Wall--Me: Whitney, you downloaded this perverted Cast Iron Filter song on my computer about a 30 year old wanting this 15 year old, come erase it/ Mot (to me, on whit's wall): you're just mad b/c you don't know Cast Iron like we do)
Don't accept the party invitations if you know you're not coming...these people might be planning kegs around you. If it's to spare the feelings of the inviter, you can put "maybe."
After you've poked, then been poked back, don't poke again (unless it's a war, like i had with sean...and won, by the way)
Don't write on your own wall...but feel free to edit.
Don't put up a picture of you in your wedding dress.
Don't reject joining one of my groups (this means you: Mot and Brett.)
Don't say the notebook is your favorite book when you've only seen the movie...
and Don't fill out the "favorite book" section if the notebook is the only book you've ever read.
Do check out people's websites...webshots are fun to stalk and blogs are fun to read.
Do wait at least a couple of weeks before running to facebook to report that you're in a relationship...this can come back and bite you in the ass real quick...
Do feel free to change your picture frequently
You can post your class schedule, but most people wont look.
Do send a Happy Birthday message or posting to someone...they know you signed on and saw it was their birthday like 10 times that day.
Do put up funny quotes that your friends said (to this day, Emily can't go to aparty without hearing "i'll never need a big suburban....")
Do start funny groups (if you're a bird i'm a bird, uga colors aren't pink..., etc.)
Do (only if you're a girl) feel free to poke a cute stranger ( this is sexist, but guys can get over it)



i'll be adding more later...this was fun.